My Mom is a Fob

• Fruit checkup
  I received this text out of the blue one night when my mom and I were in different rooms of the same house. Hello.Just practicing texting.how many apricots have you had today
• A daughter’s vices
  I’m 30 years old and in my second year of medical school. I got this email from my mother today: How is school? I hope I don’t have to worry about you drinking and smoking. Study hard,play hard. But not Boozing,smoking,sexing. Please keep in mind. Those are self-destructive behavior. Be aware!! Work hard, your reward [...]
• Field notes from the motherland
  My mother is currently visiting relatives in Taiwan and sent me the following email: Dear Jo: Here is rain everywhere, whole day, whole weeks. I don’t how long we have take it. Food is very where, however we can’t take too much by our age. Vegetable and fruit are so fresh. But virus and illness [...]
• Seeking nice b*tches
  One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at.  She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”
• Shake it
  For the longest time, my mom didn’t know that one line from “Hey Ya!” by Outkast goes “shake it like a polaroid picture!” Up until the time I corrected her, she’s been singing “shake it like a bowl of pizza!”